A letter to you…

Dear Sir,

                           I don’t know why you did this? I don’t understand how could you do this? I just met you after seven long years. You seemed to be in your usual jolly mode. You didn’t mention any crisis in your life. You had always been an optimist, a go-getter, an achiever, mentor, philosopher and guide of so many students. Then what happened? Do you really think what you did was a right thing? How could you leave your three-old daughter about whose adoption you were so excited? Questions are so many and I am not able to think or get any solutions. I still remember those sleepless nights when we both struggled to solve those unsolvable mathematical problems. I still remember that you made maths so easy for me that I started loving integration and calculus. I still remember your infectious laugh and those teasing gestures. I still remember your smile when you teased me for each and every handsome guy in the center. I still remember my irritation over your smoking habits. I still remember my promises which I made to you of telling about my boyfriends. Now, I am at loss of words… I can’t go beyond my ‘still remember’ phrase as this is the only phrase which I feel describes all my emotions. I have always been a person who has tried to stay away from religion but is there something which is even beyond religion. Is there any metaphysical dimension which goes beyond the tangibility of the earth? I believe there is. Otherwise, why would I even bothered to meet you after seven years? Why did I even thought of calling you out of the blue? Why was I in a severe depression the day before you died? And why I am getting these flashes of you telling me on that wintry night, eight years back, that a friend of yours told you that you would die around forty? After which I laughed and mocked you for believing in such things. I don’t know what to say now. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even go to your wife and pay condolences. I don’t know how to do this. So through this letter I just wanted to thank you for being there for me. For being there, when I was directionless. For being there as my morale booster.  For being part of the happiest years of my life. For just being there… I hope you will always be there for me in that unexplored, undefined, metaphysical dimension

With love




2 thoughts on “A letter to you…

  1. I came to delhi last december and on our way towards my house from the airport my brother broke the news of anshumal sir’s tragic death.
    Sometimes i feel you get these vibes about the people you once knew on what they are doing or what might be going on in thier lives. For the first time after eight yrs i was struck by the thought of meeting him and was also planning to do the same once am in delhi.
    I can never forget those night classes and those steamy mathematical equation solving sessions at our huge study hall in Karol Bagh above frontier bakery if i am not wrong.
    I dont know what connected us all to that man who used to ask for choclate at the start of every month or the person who called us before our exams to wish us best of luck.

    This letter of your’s gorvika has also made me realize that i for once thought your name was petty and even mentioned that in my daily diary. But now i am sure that i was wrong and you will always be pretty for everyone who knows you.

  2. A nice requiem. Even though i never knew him, i feel i know a part of him after this piece of yours. It came from your heart and thats all that matters…

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