Want to write but my pen refuses to obey. Trying to create a poem but not succeeding. Writer’s block always results in frustration and incompleteness. It feels as if something is there inside you which wants to come out and until & unless you take it out you cannot rest. It’s not that I don’t have an inspiration. I do have a Muse.
Lately, he has stopped speaking. Its not that we talked a lot. In fact, in eight months we spoke only twice. But, we messaged and it was these messages through which I knew his voice. I mean I imagined his voice, tone & moods and now, I yearn for the same. I long for the words which opened the window of my imagination.
It’s strange that how people suddenly enter in your life and then stay forever. I do not mean they refuse to leave rather we do not allow them to.
My Muse wants to leave me. He doesn’t want to be part of my creations. He has already distanced himself from me. Prodding and persuasion resulted in nothing. And now, I have this mad urge to talk to him. To discuss woes of the world. But, I can’t. I think he closed the doors of friendship long time back. Now, no one is allowed inside or may be it is just me.
After full eight months, I have decided to release him from the clutches of my imagination. How did this happen ? Yesterday, when I sat down to write thinking about him, my pen refused to move. Suddenly, I felt as if I don’t remember his face, do not know his voice, my past imaginations about him which gave a history to our bond were just not there. There was nothing. A complete nothingness.
I think what starts has to end one day. May be today is the day.