15 


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I feel like as if I am getting fragmented into infinite number of pieces. Everyday a new piece creates itself from my already fragmented Self. Each of the fragment has its own, subjective, individual, fragmented opinion. They are rebelling against me demanding autonomy. These multitude of agencies have already created an alternate form of government. Now, they want to overthrow me from my position. It’s a coup. There’s anarchy everywhere. Me as a centre cannot hold anymore. But, fragments cannot rule as one. Their fragmented self fights with the other one. While they fight, it’s me who is torn between infinite. It’s not a pleasant experience. Losing your Self can never be a pleasant experience. Suffering is increasing exponentially. Every moment brings in a new fragment to rebel against me. Self is persevering to be Self.

It’s only my writing which gives me an option of being One. It does not allow my fragmented Self to rule over me. It’s the coherence of my thoughts which is trying to un-fragment what has been fragmented. These words bring all my fragments together to create an un-fragmented Self. I find my Self exercising its power only through writing.
I am in a dilemma. If I don’t write, it’s the constant opposition of fragmented Self I suffer from which does not allow me to come to a single decision. If I write, it creates an un-fragmented Self which takes overwhelming decisions for me…
I am trapped in the war between Self and fragments…

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