You will find this written in fragments,  without any clarity of ideas,  without any single line of thought… This is how my mind is right now… Fragmented…. Incoherent…..

In this one month I have tried,  tried really to run away from my old muse to love my new muse.  I have tried to write sonnets, prose for him but couldn’t.  And now, I have given up. My literary pursuits,  longing to run away from you closes from now onwards…

Can’t I just love You like this? Without any expectations, without the apprehension of your reply… I write something while  feeling something else… I don’t know why I am attached to you. To an extent that I fail to put in words for anyone else… I have taken you as my literary muse and now I am not able to go back…

 You have become my Laura… my Maud Gonne! 

But darling, I still haven’t forgiven you for not meeting me… You couldn’t even understand how much hard work I had to put just to meet you… When you told me,  you couldn’t meet me, to calm myself I tried to make fun of myself,  of you…

You know one thing I have understood you will never understand me… Infact,  you don’t want to understand me…

Chalo, that much grudges for a day are sufficient…

For the time being,  I am still waiting for your next mail…


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