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toxic 2_37

Why do we write ? Do we write for somebody ? Do we “always” write for someone ? Would we write, even when we don’t have any audience, considering even writing for yourself, the “I” is an audience ? What if no one reads what you write ? Isn’t it same like when as a scholar you work hard for a paper and no one reads it, no one reacts to what you argued for, forget about having any opinion on it , positive or negative, no one even bothers to have a glimpse ? Would you be able to continue your research, if no one pays attention to it ?

Writing is not an easy thing. It is never easy. Especially when you write for an audience. … one audience… Can we continue to write, for one person, for whom, you dramatise, over-dramatise doesn’t even think that you exist ?

Should I continue this process of wording my emotions, expressions? I don’t understand why should I continue? I have stopped getting any poems in my head … I can’t think anything which is very frustrating … Verse is not an easy thing to create… It needs lot of concentration… It gives you a sense of satisfaction… Prose is just puking out what you are feeling… Puking always makes you feel better… It’s like how you enjoy drinking in a party but its only after you have puked you feel better… Same applies to me, how I enjoy my memories (of one day and numerous virtual days ! )  but, need to puke them out to feel better !

Today, I feel a sense of purposelessness…As if there isn’t any audience … Even the “I” is lost… Even she is not ready to listen to what I say…

I really don’t have a reason to continue…

Why should I continue ?

For whom ?

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